The truth about addiction

I will apologise in advance, if today’s entry seems a bit down on life. I’m not feeling at my spiritual best right now. I suppose for the past few months I’ve been on a spiritual high, with things going so well at work. Inevitably after every high there is a low, as I increasingly find [...]

Yesterday I spent most of the day with AA friends, and had a lovely day as a result. In Holborn there was the annual gay AA convention. I got there early in the afternoon and was pleased to see that I knew most of the 50 or so people present. During the first hour we [...]

I went on a date on Sunday. It was a lot less exciting than it sounds. Actually, it was quite a nice afternoon, but I don’t expect much will come of it. And I’m fine with that. The guy I met was perfectly nice: young, intelligent, cute, everything you’d want. He was also too shy [...]

I just got home after spending a pleasant couple of hours in Soho with my closest friend. It nearly turned into a proper night out, but in the end our tiredness won out against the old desire to be like everyone else our age, staying out until three in the morning. It’s only midnight but [...]

A couple of days ago I really felt like punching my boss, Jan, in the face. For a good few months we had been getting on brilliantly, until Monday morning when I made one of my increasingly rare but important mistakes, costing the company about £1,000. I am essentially responsible for passing on all the [...]

Today I was the recipient of my first ever step 9 amends. It came from my former sponsor, who relapsed earlier this year when I was in the middle of step 4. I didn’t feel that he really owed me an apology, but I went to meet him anyway as I hadn’t seen him since [...]

Last night I was booked in to do the chair at Hop Gardens. It’s the biggest gay AA meeting in London, with at least 70 regular attendees. When I got there I was understandably nervous about speaking in front of such a large crowd. I’d never chaired a meeting of more than about 30 people [...]

Tuesday night I was given cause for concern when Andy called me, sounding desperate. He’s been having a rough time recently, unemployed and searching for that job that will change everything. It’s not just being poor, it’s being trapped at home, having all your choices taken away from you, not having any reason to get [...]

Seems like things have been pretty static the past couple of weeks, which is why I haven’t written much here. I’ve written a lot elsewhere, reaching 180 pages in my latest novel which I am happily enjoying in its creation. I’m almost certainly on track for completing my fourth book in sobriety – the third [...]

Three Years

It’s been exactly three years to the day since I last had an alcoholic drink. Unbelievable? Extremely. Happy? Mostly. I wouldn’t say I was entirely jubilant today, mainly because of the several close shaves that I have gone through in recent weeks. I’m fairly convinced that those close shaves were in anticipation of this anniversary [...]