Last night I was booked in to do the chair at Hop Gardens. It’s the biggest gay AA meeting in London, with at least 70 regular attendees. When I got there I was understandably nervous about speaking in front of such a large crowd. I’d never chaired a meeting of more than about 30 people [...]

Tuesday night I was given cause for concern when Andy called me, sounding desperate. He’s been having a rough time recently, unemployed and searching for that job that will change everything. It’s not just being poor, it’s being trapped at home, having all your choices taken away from you, not having any reason to get [...]

Three Years

It’s been exactly three years to the day since I last had an alcoholic drink. Unbelievable? Extremely. Happy? Mostly. I wouldn’t say I was entirely jubilant today, mainly because of the several close shaves that I have gone through in recent weeks. I’m fairly convinced that those close shaves were in anticipation of this anniversary [...]

There was a minor incident, yesterday at work, which may need some thinking on. It had mostly been a great day. We had our quarterly business meeting, where everyone had to gather in the conference room to listen to speeches about the company’s amazing growth during the past three months. After the speeches we were [...]

After avoiding Ethan through Sunday and Monday, I finally spoke to him honestly last night about how bad I had felt on Saturday. I tried not to make it seem as if I blamed him for the social disaster which nearly led me to a drink, though it may have come across that way. I [...]

I’ve done it again. Put myself in a situation where my recovery may have ended up seriously compromised. It all started off innocuously enough, as I was invited by Ethan to a party at the place where he has recently begun to do voluntary work. You’d think: how bad can it be? The moment I [...]

As the result of a few events brought about by my own alcoholic determination to feel sorry for myself, I have experienced a great deal of unnecessary pain this week. The first event was my trip to Heaven on Saturday, perhaps badly judged, the emotional consequences of which I really paid for that night. There [...]

Readers will be pleased to know that, although I don’t take back anything I said on Saturday night, I am feeling a lot better now. It was another one of those occasions where I didn’t put my spiritual well being first, and I paid the consequences. I do however think that some of the points [...]

What’s the point? What is the fucking POINT? This afternoon I get my glad rags on, I go out, meet Melanie in town to watch England’s first match in the World Cup, I have fun, so much fun that after it’s all over I decide to visit the gay scene, where I am determined to [...]

Today was the second hottest day of the year, and I spent most of it outside, as I always feel the need to go out when it’s hot. In my drinking I missed so much good weather due to my hangovers – things like that make you appreciate the outdoors on nice days when you’re [...]