As the result of a few events brought about by my own alcoholic determination to feel sorry for myself, I have experienced a great deal of unnecessary pain this week. The first event was my trip to Heaven on Saturday, perhaps badly judged, the emotional consequences of which I really paid for that night. There [...]
Archive for the ‘bullying’ Category
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12 steps, addiction, adulthood, Alcoholics Anonymous, alcoholism, anger, anxiety, belief, bullying, co-dependency, depression, despair, emotional anorexia, Emotions, fear, friendship, gay, happiness, hope, illness, insanity, intimacy, life, love, maturity, money, panic attacks, peace, recovery, relationships, resentments, sanity, self doubt, self-pity, serenity, service, sex, sex addiction, sexual anorexia, shame, sobriety, social anorexia, socializing, spirituality, work
What’s the point? What is the fucking POINT? This afternoon I get my glad rags on, I go out, meet Melanie in town to watch England’s first match in the World Cup, I have fun, so much fun that after it’s all over I decide to visit the gay scene, where I am determined to [...]
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12 steps, addiction, adulthood, alcohol, Alcoholics Anonymous, alcoholism, anger, anxiety, belief, bullying, childhood, co-dependency, death, depression, despair, emotional anorexia, Emotions, fear, friendship, gay, happiness, hope, illness, insanity, intimacy, life, love, maturity, panic attacks, peace, Psychology, recovery, relationships, resentments, sanity, self doubt, self-pity, serenity, sex, sex addiction, sexual anorexia, shame, SLAA, sobriety, social anorexia, social anxiety, spirituality, therapy
I’ve been invited to a work colleague’s birthday party tonight, and I don’t want to go. She’s having an 80’s themed fancy dress do at her house in West London before heading into town for a night of trendy clubbing. A few years ago it would have been my idea of the perfect night out. [...]
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12 steps, addiction, adulthood, alcohol, Alcoholics Anonymous, alcoholism, anger, anxiety, belief, bullying, childhood, co-dependency, depression, despair, emotional anorexia, Emotions, family, fear, friendship, gay, happiness, hope, illness, insanity, intimacy, life, love, maturity, money, panic attacks, peace, Psychology, quitting, recovery, relationships, resentments, sanity, self doubt, self-pity, serenity, service, sex, sex addiction, sexual anorexia, shame, SLAA, sobriety, social anorexia, social anxiety, socializing, spirituality, therapy, work, writing
I think the state of my mind at the moment may suggest that I am happy with life. I don’t feel regret, sadness, pain or anxiety today. Most of the past few days have been like this, which is not to suggest that everything is perfect today. Problems remain, as they probably always will. But [...]
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12 steps, addiction, adulthood, anger, anxiety, belief, bullying, childhood, co-dependency, dating, depression, despair, emotional anorexia, Emotions, family, fear, friendship, gay, happiness, hope, illness, insanity, intimacy, life, love, maturity, panic attacks, peace, Psychology, quitting, recovery, relationships, resentments, self doubt, self-pity, serenity, sex, sex addiction, sexual anorexia, shame, SLAA, sobriety, social anorexia, socializing, spirituality, therapy, work, writing
I felt like leaving my job today. Not for the first time, I ended up in a situation where I felt undervalued and overlooked. For the past month or so I’d been getting on really well with my superior Jan, who has been pleased with my achievements in knocking the customer enquiry backlog down to [...]
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12 steps, adulthood, alcoholism, anger, anxiety, belief, bullying, co-dependency, death, depression, despair, Emotions, family, fear, gay, hope, illness, insanity, intimacy, life, maturity, money, panic attacks, peace, Psychology, recovery, resentments, sanity, self doubt, self-pity, service, shame, sobriety, social anorexia, socializing, work
About thirty-six hours ago I arrived at work, prepared for but not entirely excited about the day ahead. I had my overnight bag with me, as did everyone else, and it instantly felt as if I was going on a school trip. Several people made that precise remark as we all bundled onto the [...]
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12 steps, adulthood, alcohol, Alcoholics Anonymous, alcoholism, anger, anxiety, belief, bullying, childhood, co-dependency, depression, despair, Emotions, family, fear, friendship, gay, happiness, hope, illness, insanity, intimacy, life, love, maturity, money, panic attacks, peace, recovery, relationships, resentments, sanity, self doubt, self-pity, serenity, service, shame, sobriety, social anorexia, social anxiety, social phobia, socializing, spirituality, travel, work
Entertainment
Recovering from New York took a bit longer than expected. I spent most of the weekend asleep, I was so tired. By Sunday night I felt that enough energy had been regained to go out. I met Phil and some other non-AA friends that I don’t really like in Clapham, for a night of dancing [...]
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12 steps, adulthood, alcohol, Alcoholics Anonymous, alcoholism, anger, anxiety, belief, bullying, childhood, emotional anorexia, Emotions, fear, friendship, gay, happiness, hope, illness, insanity, intimacy, life, love, maturity, money, panic attacks, peace, Psychology, quitting, recovery, relationships, resentments, sanity, self doubt, self-pity, serenity, service, sobriety, social anorexia, social anxiety, social phobia, socializing, spirituality, travel, work
Sushi for the soul
I think I am becoming addicted to sushi. In the last few weeks I have eaten it every day for lunch, and I can’t seem to get enough of it. Yesterday whilst in town I plucked up the courage to go into a sushi restaurant on my own, I was so keen not to end [...]
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12 steps, addiction, adulthood, Alcoholics Anonymous, alcoholism, anger, anxiety, belief, bullying, childhood, co-dependency, cooking, creativity, depression, despair, emotional anorexia, Emotions, fear, friendship, gay, happiness, hope, illness, insanity, intimacy, life, love, maturity, money, panic attacks, peace, Psychology, quitting, recovery, relationships, resentments, sanity, self doubt, self-pity, serenity, service, sex, sex addiction, sexual anorexia, shame, SLAA, sobriety, social anorexia, social anxiety, socializing, spirituality, therapy, work, writing
Ironing
Tonight I picked up an iron for the first time in about eight years. It needed doing. Some of my clothes were seriously creased from the last wash, and I’m old enough not to have to go out wearing creased clothes. For eight years the thought of using an iron has terrified me – at [...]
Category:
12 steps, addiction, Alcoholics Anonymous, alcoholism, anger, anxiety, belief, bullying, childhood, co-dependency, creativity, despair, emotional anorexia, Emotions, family, fear, friendship, gay, happiness, hope, illness, insanity, intimacy, life, love, maturity, money, peace, Psychology, quitting, recovery, relationships, resentments, sanity, self doubt, self-pity, serenity, service, sex, sex addiction, sexual anorexia, shame, sobriety, social anorexia, social anxiety, spirituality, therapy, work
Work has been – howcan I say it? – mildly challenging the last few days. On Friday everyone got to change desks as the company completed a restructure and half the office moved somewhere else. My team shifted itself to the desks on the other side of the room; in any normal circumstances it should [...]
Category:
12 steps, addiction, alcohol, alcoholism, anger, anxiety, belief, bullying, childhood, co-dependency, dating, depression, despair, Emotions, fear, friendship, gay, happiness, hope, illness, insanity, intimacy, life, love, maturity, peace, Psychology, quitting, recovery, relationships, resentments, sanity, self doubt, self-pity, serenity, service, sex, sex addiction, sexual anorexia, shame, SLAA, sobriety, social anorexia, social anxiety, spirituality, therapy, work
