That’s right, this week I celebrated two (long) years of continuous sobriety. Because of that I think it has been a week of reflection for me – I guess anniversaries always will be about reflection and evaluation, as well as celebration and joy. Considering how close I’ve come to drinking at several points this year, it’s probably worth marking the event even more. I wasn’t going to bother doing anything but at the last moment I realised that I would probably regret not marking it, so tomorrow I am meeting some sober friends for a nice lunch in Soho.

I can definitely say from my heart that the second year has been harder than the first year. That’s not to put newcomers off, it is just to be truthful about my story. I’ve had to face up to the realities of life and sobriety this year; I suppose having no job or a reason to get up in the mornings has not helped at all. In my first year I still had the comfort and safety of University to take my mind off the worst parts of sobriety. In that sense it’s interesting and probably quite apt to split my recovery into two parts: the good part and the bad part. Both parts are equally important to think about.

There have of course been brilliant times as well as terrible times. I’ve been able to travel in recovery, I’ve made an awful lot of friends, and I’ve experienced every single bit of it with clarity and appreciation. The bad times, not helped by unemployment and severe lack of finances, have brought me to my knees and forced me to face some of my darkest memories and feelings. I’ve used a lot of this year to look at those feelings and to try and make a start on dealing with them. It was never going to be easy, and I can’t say whether it would have been much better if I didn’t have so much time on my hands to feel those dark feelings.

In the future I doubt I will look back on this year with such fond memories as those with which I look back on my first year. I know it’s been an important year and I can’t dismiss some of its achievements though: I’ve written at least one and a half books, I’ve done a lot of unpaid work which has enabled me to face some of my fears, and I’ve done a lot of service in AA. I don’t have quite the material wealth to show for my achievements which I would have liked to see this time last year. It really has been a rude awakening in many ways but I’ve survived it sober and I am willingly embarking on my third year of the journey.

In this week’s news, I am still looking after my friend’s flat in Tottenham. Independence has been good for me, if a little lonelier than I thought it would be. The cat is lovely but I can’t help wanting a bit of human conversation from time to time. Maybe that’s what AA meetings are for, but I can’t always get to AA meetings. Tottenham is a lot further from my regular meetings than Islington, where I normally live. Yes I could try meetings in Tottenham, but I’ve heard that they are nowhere near as well attended as the ones I like.

So I’ve had to make do with watching TV and stroking the cat most of the week. I can hardly complain – this is the kind of independence I’ve always wanted. If I was to put a positive spin on the experience it would be that I’ve found out what kind of place I want to live in and what kind of place I don’t want to live in. I’ve also discovered that living with another person isn’t as terrible as I always thought it was.